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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413977">Post-Apotheosis TGWDLM</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StardustDreamsandAnarchy/pseuds/StardustDreamsandAnarchy'>StardustDreamsandAnarchy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Autistic Paul Matthews, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Infected Paul Matthews, Muteness, Polycules, Post-Apotheosis (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Queer platonic relationships, Slice of Life, TGWDLM AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:53:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413977</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StardustDreamsandAnarchy/pseuds/StardustDreamsandAnarchy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma makes it out of Hatchetfield and learns that Paul made it too! The two of them travel to Colorado to start Emma's pot farm and have to learn how to cope with the trauma they've accrued.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Paul Matthews &amp; Emma Perkins, Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Starting Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em><strong>Boom!</strong></em>.</p><p>The ground shook and above me a dark cloud began to billow forth from the middle of town. He'd done it. I smiled in relief as ash and dust began to settle on me. My leg was going numb from blood loss, but it was fine since it was becoming harder to breath. I pulled myself to a nearby rock to prop myself up, I wanted to look at something beautiful one last time before I died. The effort was a lot and I barely got a glimpse of the coast before I passed out, but it was enough. It was more than he got. </p><p>I came-to in a helicopter. The sound of the wings fighting the air was deafening and I began to panic. <em>I cant move. Why can't I move? </em>I struggled against whatever was holding me back. <em>It’s Zoe, she came back for me. I can't die like this.</em> I kept struggling, I think I screamed and then I felt a prick and the world went black again. </p><p>The next time I came to, it was in a sterile white room. There was something in my throat and something constricting me. I began to fight it when someone touched me. I looked around wildly trying to see but my eyes were so fucked from the ash. </p><p>"Ma'am we have to sedate her again, she's going to hurt herself"</p><p>"No, not yet. She needs to know what's going on."  The owner of the hands came closer to me and I could make her out. A kindly looking, older woman. Her stance and uniform said military. </p><p>"Emma. Emma, I need you to calm down. I would say take a deep breath, but there's a tube in your throat that's doing that for you. Emma, if you can hear me, blink once, hard."</p><p>I blinked. </p><p>"That's good Emma, you're doing great. Listen to me Emma, you made it out. You're in a military hospital now in a small town just outside of Clivesdale. You survived."<br/>
I blinked hard again, as tears began to form in my eyes.<br/>
"Puh-" I tried to speak and a nurse came and pushed me back down.<br/>
"General, I have to insist now. You're exciting the patient. She's in too fragile a state right now."<br/>
I struggled against him.<br/>
"<strong>Puh</strong>!?"<br/>
She looked at me and the kind look in her eyes had gone.<br/>
"I'm sorry Emma. You're the only survivor."<br/>
***<br/>
"That's right, Kelly! You're doing great. One more step and you're done for the day!"<br/>
"Please call me Emma. I hate that name."<br/>
"Sorry Ma'am but our orders are to get you used to the name. After your physical therapy, you're going to go in to meet a specialist. They'll work with you everyday to help you build your new life and to help you memorize your story."<br/>
***<br/>
"You want a <em>what</em>?"<br/>
"A pot farm. I want to grow marijuana to sell it, for money."<br/>
"I don't know if the government will allow me to allocate money to the sale of illicit substances."<br/>
"Not illicit, medicinal- <strong>AND </strong> legal in many states. Listen, you all want me out of your hair and out of the public eye, but somewhere you can keep watch on me. I wanted to go back to Guatemala, but you said no. So give me land in the middle of nowhere, just enough land for a house and a bit of land to farm and I'll be good. I'll call myself Kelly and say I grew in Ohio or wherever."<br/>
"Oklahoma."<br/>
"I'd know that if you gave me a pot farm."<br/>
The agent sighed deeply. This was our last session and I'd given them a hard time from day one. I could tell they wanted to wash their hands of me, but they wanted to send me to some semi- Amish town to live completely isolated from anyone who could've possibly heard of Hatchetfield.<br/>
I didn't mind isolation, I'd gotten pretty good at it over the years. But i didn't want to let go of my dreams, not after so much was taken from me.<br/>
"Okay, Kelly. I'll take this to the men upstairs and see what I can do for you. But you're going to have to compromise a little. No naming the farm 'Professor Hidgen's Banging Kush'."<br/>
"Done!"<br/>
***<br/>
"Well, Kelly. Here's the deed to a plot of land in Colorado. Hell of a place to grow some cannabis."<br/>
“Thanks General Shay.” 

The older soldier who I'd met that first day cringed a little when I said that. I had the feeling she wasn’t used to being called “General”. Paul had mentioned a General back in Hatchetfield before he- Well that General was called Macken-something.<br/>
It was nice of General Shay to come back to see me off, though. One last familiar face before going off into the uncertain future. She'd been around in the early days of my recovery, when I was still mostly relegated to bed. She’d disappeared after a while, I guess duty had called her off to God knows where to deal with I don't even wanna know what, but she’d come back to see me off. It was a kind gesture, but the soldiers brisk, all-business nature made the whole situation seem so bizarre. She’d said all of three sentences to me before she started to walk away- I guess they keep goodbye’s short and sweet in the armed forces to keep from getting too emotional.<br/>
I was beginning to fidget with the package she had given me when she turned back, as if on an afterthought.<br/>
"By the way, you'll be escorted to Colorado by a Mr. Ben Bridges."<br/>
I balked. "But, I don't know a Ben Bridges."<br/>
I racked my brain for all the people I'd met during my stay at the “facility”. The nurses, the soldiers, the surly secret agents. None of them named Bridges to my knowledge, though one of the orderlies was named Ben Klein.<br/>
"According to our records, you do. You used to be very good friends. We at PEIP would like to see it become more." She winked and walked off, I followed her. There was a glass separating me from the outside world, a glass and a nurse.<br/>
"Okay, here are all the meds you and Ben will need. And be gentle with him, he hasn't said anything since he came here."<br/>
<em>What the fuck?</em>, I thought.<em> Are they saddling me with some mental case? </em><br/>
"Here he is with his nurse."<br/>
I turn to see two figures walking from the opposite direction then where I came from, the other ward they never let me in.The man was tall and lanky, and he walked with the help of a small nurse and a cane. He began to speed up as he got closer and when he passed by a window, the light flashed over his face.<br/>
"Oh my God! Paul?!" I rushed to him as fast as my barely healed legs would carry me. His hair was long, well longer than I'd ever seen it in his business days. It hung past his chin now and it was shaggy. But his face, his face was exactly how I remembered it.<br/>
His crooked smile was plastered across his face and I could see the faint outline of burn marks along his face, neck, and hands. I crashed into him and buried my head into his side. He held me back too, so hard it hurt, but I didn't want to let go.<br/>
"Paul! You made it!"<br/>
He shook his head sadly and pointed to a little name badge that was on his chest.<br/>
"Ben Bridges. I see they saddled you with a new name too." He nodded.<br/>
I looked from my nurse to his, a little bewildered. His nurse stepped up, and pulled me aside a little.<br/>
"Ben here seems to have trauma-induced selective mutism. Since he was brought here, he hasn't spoken but he's all healed up and ready to face the world. We've taught him some sign language in case he needs to communicate, and added a beginners book in your release pack."<br/>
"Okay, is there anything I should know?"<br/>
" No, no. Everything is fine except-"<br/>
"Except…"<br/>
"He reacts violently to all music. Radio, singing, instruments. Even on the elevator ride down to this floor, he had an anxiety attack. That's why we were so late."<br/>
I sighed. "Yeah, that makes sense."<br/>
The nurse looked at me quizzically. She must've been low level to not know. So, I just smiled and grabbed Paul's arm.<br/>
"It's all good. Ben here has never liked musicals." Paul shook his head vehemently, in what I assumed was agreement.<br/>
"Okay, let's hit the road, Benny boy!"<br/>
We were driven to the airport and given keys and a map to our new place in the mountains of Colorado.<br/>
"Nice and secluded, huh?"<br/>
I made senseless chatter to Paul the whole ride there, talking about what I was looking forward to the most. What strain of weed I wanted to plant first. He nodded absentmindedly, but I couldn't tell if he actually heard anything I had said. We made it through security and onto the plane without a hitch, but as we began to take off, I felt myself begin to shake. I felt gentle fingers tap on my shoulder and Paul lifted the armrest separating us and made a "come here" motion.<br/>
"You sure?" I asked, hesitating for some reason. He nodded, so I moved over, cuddling into him and his warmth. The rhythmic sound of his heart beat soothed me and I soon fell asleep. I didn't wake up til halfway through the flight. Paul hadn't moved, his arms still around me, acting as protector. But he was looking out the window, at the starless sky around us. </p><p>Soon, we descended, landing in a small rinky-dink airport that was still hours away from our farm. Paul drove us this time. Our government mandated vehicle was an ugly old truck that sputtered and slugged along.<br/>
"Which one of us is going to have to learn mechanics to fix this? Not it!" I joked, stealing a glance at him to see if he broke a smile. The corner of his lips were upturned, but his eyes were dead ahead on the road. He had one hand on the wheel and the other in mine. The way he held onto me was almost scary. Like I was a life raft keeping him afloat at sea, he didn't let go the entire drive.<br/>
Finally, we reached our little farm. It was part- way up a mountain, at least an hour and a half away from the nearest town.<br/>
"I don't see any lights in them there woods. Looks like we don't have any neighbors anywhere close." Paul shook his head, but I could swear he looked a bit relieved. I couldn't really blame him either, the idea of having to face crowds wasn't that thrilling to me either.<br/>
We walked into our house, a cute two-story cabin and found bags of groceries on the table and more in the fridge.<br/>
"Yay! Food. Looks like we won't need supplies for at least a week. And look! Seeds for us to get started planting. I say we take a few days to get ourselves acquainted, and save these puppies for later." He nodded and swayed a little in place, he looked at the stairs that connected to the Kitchen.<br/>
"You're right! Let's check out the upstairs." I grabbed his hand and dragged him to explore the upstairs.<br/>
"Okay. One Master bedroom with an en-suite full bathroom, a guest bedroom, a 'nother full bath, a study/craft room, and a nice little alcove looking out into a lake. Nice." I began to guide him towards the Master room but he pulled back on me. When I looked back to him, he was shaking his head.<br/>
"You don't want to go with me to explore the rooms?" He shook his head again and signed something.<br/>
"Hold on, I read a bit of the book on the ride here.” I struggled to remember some of the signs I had read, and eventually had to pull out ‘A Beginner’s Guide to Signs’ to figure out what he had said. “<strong>No... share</strong>? No share? You don't want to share the room?"<br/>
He nodded, relieved at my understanding.<br/>
"A bit fresh of you to assume I was asking you to share." I poked my tongue out at him and he half smiled. "I was 100% planning on making you take the guest room. Hell, if there was an attic, I'd probably give you that and keep this entire floor to myself." I exaggeratedly looked for an attic and turned back to him.<br/>
"Since there's no attic, I'll allow you to stay in the guest room, but if I see a tornado bunker or garden shed you can fit in, you're out buddy."<br/>
His smile was wider now, and he began to sign again<br/>
"<strong>I'll... keep.. eye.. out</strong>. Yeah, you better keep an eye and let me know as soon as you see one." He was signing more.<br/>
"<strong>Tired... Night... E-M-M-A</strong>. Goodnight, Paul. I'll see you in the morning." Something flashed in his eyes as I said ‘Goodnight’. It happened so quickly that I wasn’t sure if I had imagined it, but before I could say anything, he had turned and headed to the guest room. I headed to the master suite and quietly shut the door behind me.</p><p>***<br/>
<em>I can’t breathe</em>.<br/>
Charlotte is sitting in my chest, leering down at me while Zoey and Professor Hidgens stand above her. I try to yell, tell her to get the fuck off of me, but I can’t speak. I realize that it’s because I have no mouth.Charlotte, Zoey, and the Professor smile down at me and when they open their mouths, they speak in my voice.<br/>
<em><strong>"Don’t worry Emma, you’ll learn the song in no time"</strong></em>.<br/>
***<br/>
I wake up to hear muffled music coming from somewhere nearby, along with the sound of car tires on gravel. The sounds stop in front of the house. I rush over to the window to see a group of people hopping out of a pick-up truck, chatting excitedly to each other. I struggle to throw on the clothes I had thrown off before bed last night and limp down the stairs. I get the landing before I heard them knocking a familiar sound, ‘Shave and a Haircut’. I flinch at the intrusive sound. A few seconds after the first few knocks they knock again, louder.<br/>
“HelloOO” a sing-songy greeting comes from the other side of the door. </p><p>“Coming!” I take the last few steps as quickly as possible, anything to get the noise to stop. Just as I’m about to reach the handle, I look over to see a leg peeking out from behind the couch. </p><p>“Paul?” I stage-whisper, as I creep across the room. The leg whips back, further behind the couch. “Everything okay, buddy?”

I reach the couch and see the top of Paul’s head, barely covered by the arms of the sofa. His big soft eyes flick to mine, full of tears. I hesitate for a second- I’ve never been good with emotions, especially not those of others, but I reach out for the hands that are covering his ears.

“Hey hey, it’s all good bro. It’s probably just the neighbors. You know how personable country folk are.<br/>
He violently shakes his head, ducking down into a tight ball.<br/>
“Don’t worry, I’ll get rid of them.” Just as I say that, they knock again. “Why don’t you just go hide somewhere. There was a broom closet in the hallway near the kitchen. That can be our little hideout whenever things get too much, okay.” Paul nods and scrambles up, nearly tripping over himself in his attempt to escape. </p><p>I finally open the door to see a group of 9 people, all of them between 25 and 29. </p><p>The one standing nearest the door is a Latinx person with their dark hair up in a bun, showing their shaved sides. They looked to be among the eldest in the group and held an aluminum pan out to me as the group exclaimed “Welcome to the neighborhood!”<br/>
Their enthusiasm takes me by surprise, but I quickly recover, putting on my best customer service smile.<br/>
“Oh! Thank you so much! We didn’t realize we’d have neighbors, especially not ones as… excited as y'all.” I step outside to talk to the group a bit, taking the cake and putting it down on the little table outside on the porch. “Please, sit and talk. I would invite you in for tea, but we weren’t expecting visitors and my… friend isn’t quite in the mood to meet new people yet.”</p><p>The person who greeted me smiled wide and leaned forward. “Oh my god, that is so cute! You moved here with your friend?! That’s what we did too!” they said, gesturing to the people with them. They all waved and smiled at me. </p><p>“We were all friends in college, around graduation we started chatting and decided to save up money to move out to the country somewhere since none of us wanted to get caught up in that corporate nonsense.” They shuddered as they said that.<br/>
The black woman to their right slapped their arm saying “Sorry about Angel, they’ve never met a stranger and sometimes forget that most people need introductions to get to meet people”<br/>
“Oops! Yeah, sorry I’m Angel.”<br/>
“I’m Kay-Lee” said the black woman who had first introduced Angel. J, Mira, Andre, Pax, Olly, Skai, and Lily all introduced themselves in turn.<br/>
“It’s great to meet you all I’m...Kelly.” I winced at the awkward hesitation before saying my name, but none of the neighbors said anything.<br/>
“It’s great to have someone new in the neighborhood! We’re tired of trying to get the Smith’s and Crabby to hang with us-"<br/>
“Crabby?” I looked at them confused.<br/>
Skai laughed a bit “Sorry- yeah. Even though we call it a neighborhood, but there’s only four houses around the lake. Us,” Skai points at his roommate. “Then across the lake are this cute family called the Smiths. They have a bunch of little kids and goats and stuff running around. There’s another guy across the lake who never talks to us and just acts like we don’t exist whenever he sees us. And now you guys!”<br/>
“Yeah, we’re your closest neighbors, but our house is a good ways away, which is why we drove over.  We’re a good 5 or so miles away.”<br/>
“Oh, good.” I say before I can stop myself.<br/>
Angel looked upset, but Kaylee and a few of the others laugh.<br/>
“Sorry”, I say sheepishly. “Just, we moved out here for some privacy and quiet- Ben and I. That’s my friend by the way… Since you’re our closest neighbors, I think we should be up front about this now. Ben and I went through a big accident and we were both shaken up by it. It turned us off from cities in general, and I’d already had plans to move out here after I graduated, so I invited him along. That’s why he didn’t come out actually. He kinda got spooked by the knocking,” They all kind of gasped and winced. “but he’s fine now! Don’t worry. We would just appreciate it if you would give us some warning before dropping by next time. Here, I think I have our new number written down somewhere." 
Emma rummaged through her pockets for a second, feeling her fingers hit a scrap of paper. She pulled it out and looked at it. "Yeah here. Feel free to call us anytime if you ever want to hang out, though we both prefer small get-togethers to parties.” </p><p>Kay-Lee touched Angel’s arm gently, as the neighbors all looked at each other. Angel finally broke the silence, saying: “Oh my god, we are so sorry. We were just so excited when we saw your car pulling up to the house last night. J has a little telescope that they use to look at the stars, and your lights caught their eyes and we got so excited we just immediately started- Sorry.”</p><p>“No-No! It’s fine! In fact, I’m glad to know that we have such friendly neighbors. I would love your help getting to know how things work around here. We passed a small town on the way here. Maybe later this week after we get settled in, we could all go into town together?”</p><p>“That sounds great, Kelly. Here-” Angel ran to their truck and rummaged around in the front seat for a while. They came back a few seconds later with a scrap of paper. “Here’s our number, you can give us a call and we can set something up. Sound good?”</p><p>“Sounds awesome! Thank ya’ll so much. I’m really happy you stopped by. If you don’t mind though, we have a lot of unpacking to do, and we haven’t even had breakfast.”</p><p>“Of Course! Have a great day.” The group started heading off the porch and I got up, walking to the top of the steps with them. I could tell that they clocked my limp, but thankfully none of them said anything. They all began clambering into the truck, most having to get into the truck bed. Before getting into the passenger seat, Kay-Lee turned back to me and called out:</p><p>“Tell- Ben?” I nodded. “Tell Ben that we can’t wait to meet him, and sorry about this morning.”</p><p>“I will! Thanks for the cake!” I waved them off, breathing a sigh of relief as their car turned the corner off of the property. </p><p>“Hey, Paul! They’re gone now. They’re really nice though!” I walked through the door and was taken aback by the volley of smells that greeted me. Salty, sweet, savory smells beckoned me into the kitchen where I saw Paul by the stove, taking bacon off of the eye.<br/>
He turned to me and signed “<strong>Breakfast</strong>”, gesturing at the table behind him which had eggs, toast, and waffles along with fruit and juices spread out waiting. </p><p>“Wow! I didn’t know you could cook like this! You work quick too!” He shrugged, noncommittal to the end, before moving to hold the seat out for me. “Why thank you!” I winked at him as he pushed the chair in. Looking around at all the food, I noticed a breakfast staple conspicuously missing. “What, no coffee?” I looked at him, eyebrows exaggeratedly raised.<br/>
He shook his head vehemently at me, looking away.<br/>
“Yeah, I can’t blame you, bud. I think it’s gonna be a long time before I can drink any again. God, I don’t wanna make any either. I’d get flashbacks to working at Beanie’s and having to deal with all those assholes.” Paul gave me a strained smile.<br/>
“Hey, you good? I know that was rough, this morning.”<br/>
“<strong>Feels… Bad</strong>.” he signed.<br/>
“Yeah, I can imagine. I also imagine, you don’t really want to talk about the source of those bad feelings, so how ‘bout this. Anytime things get bad, you can just dip. Go to your room, or the broom closet, and if the bad feelings come from outside, like today, I’ll just come get you when the bad stuff is gone. If the bad feelings come from inside, you can just hide out til you feel better, okay?”<br/>
“Okay.” He spoke.

Paul spoke to me.<br/>
I gasped a little, shocked. “Okay?”<br/>
“Okay, okay, okay.” He looked down at his plate as he nodded, repeating "Okay". It was so comforting to hear his voice again, to hear him and his little vocal tic.<br/>
I couldn’t help but smile as I said “Okay.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Getting Better</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Determined to stop living in fear, Emma arranges a shopping trip with the neighbors and she and Paul make a discovery in their house</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry! I forgot that I was writing this in first person, so I went back and edited it to fix the third person POV</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We settled into a routine pretty quickly. Paul always managed to be up before me and he would make us breakfast. After we ate, we’d do dishes together and start doing chores around the property. We worked pretty well together in a comfortable silence, just getting to work clearing the field behind the house or putting together the beginning of a green house for the more finicky strains. I was still too unsteady on my feet to be handling an axe, but I watched Paul as he chopped down some trees just outside of our property. Hatchetfield was a lumber town when it was founded and though we had industrialized, we were still proud of that history, so most people from Hatchetfield knew their way around an axe and apparently Paul was one of those people. In no time, he got into a groove and the tree was felled very quickly. As he continued to chop up the tree and load the lumber into a wheelbarrow, I was inside talking to Kay-Lee on the phone.<br/>
“Thanks again for agreeing to go into town with me this weekend. I think we’re gonna need a lot of help getting used to life out here.”<br/>
“It’s no problem! We’re happy to help, so what are you thinking? Just a general walk through or a big scale shopping trip?”<br/>
“Uhh, maybe both?” I looked at the list we’d been making of things we needed or wanted for the farm or comfort. “We’re trying to build a greenhouse and we need glass and lighting, but we also want to be as sustainable as possible, so we wanted to look into water collecting and making our own electricity. And of course, we need some groceries and seeds for food.”<br/>
“Awesome! We collect our own water here and have a little windmill for electricity, so if you’d like Skai could come over some day to help you out with that, since he’s the mastermind. Groceries, seeds and some supplies are easy to get in town, but you might need to order the glass and some other things, but we can also help you with that this weekend. You guys are starting a pot farm, right?”<br/>
“<em>Yeeeaaahhh</em>…” I flinched a bit, used to the disdainful looks I had gotten from people in Hatchetfield when they learned of my plans.<br/>
“That’s really cool! You might also want to look into hemp products that you can make, might as well use as much of the plant as possible.” A muffled voice came from Kay-Lee’s end. “Oh, yeah! Lily said you should also think about animals that you might want around the farm. We have some chickens for eggs and we sell the excess, the Smith’s have goats that they use for milk. Crabby has pigs and ducks. Animals aren’t necessary, but they’re super cute and useful for additional income and to be as off-grid as possible if that’s what you’re into.”<br/>
“Huh… I never really thought about having animals around, other than maybe a dog.”<br/>
“Well you and Ben should think about it. As the week keeps going, add to the list of things you want and we’ll do our best to help you figure it out on Saturday, okay?”<br/>
“Yeah! Thanks Kay-Lee, tell Lily thank you too and say ‘Hey’ to everyone else for me.”<br/>
“Will do. Bye, Kelly!” Kay-Lee said as she hung up.</p>
<p><em>Hmmm, what sort of animals would I like to have around? </em> I walked around the Kitchen, munching on a handful of pretzels as I thought about it. <em> Pigs? Chickens? Cows maybe? </em> I stopped in my tracks thoughts as something caught my eye, there was a door underneath the staircase. It was tucked into a corner that the light didn’t really fall into and somehow, Paul and I had both missed it. As I started walking towards it, another door opening across the house.<br/>
“Hey Paul! Come see what I found!” I called out, rummaging through the kitchen drawers for a flashlight.<br/>
Paul walked through into the kitchen, pulling on a t-shirt as he came in.<br/>
“<strong>What’s up </strong>?” he signed.<br/>
“I think I found a basement! Look.”<br/>
I flicked the flashlight on and pointed it into the corner behind the staircase and a confused look came over Paul’s face.<br/>
We walked over and began pulling at the door, slowly budging it open.<br/>
“This obviously hasn’t been opened in a while.”<br/>
“<strong>Add door oil to the list</strong>.”<br/>
“Definitely…” I hesitated for a second. “Should we go in? I don’t want to have survived the apocalypse just to be killed for a horror movie cliche.”<br/>
Paul’s eyebrows were knitted together for a second as he weighed the options.<br/>
“<strong> Let’s look, quickly.</strong>”<br/>
“Okay, but I’m bringing this.” PEIP had set us up with a gun permit and a shotgun to use for hunting or scaring woodland creatures away from our crops. No way was I going into a creepy ass basement without it.<br/>
Slowly, with Paul leading the way, we crept down into the basement. About halfway down we stopped and swept the room with the flashlight. It was mostly empty save for a few cobwebs and what looked to be couches covered with tarp.<br/>
“Whaddya think, Paul?”<br/>
He looked at me and signed “<strong>New Room? </strong>”<br/>
I snorted appreciatively, shaking my head. “No way would I let you have this space all to yourself. Look at all the potential!” I began to limp down the stairs. “This could be a library, or a game room, or our own private bar.”<br/>
“<strong> Hideout?</strong><br/>
“You are so right! Welcome to our very own fortress of solitude.”<br/>
***<br/>
That night at dinner, I brought up the question of animals and hemp products to Paul.<br/>
“I sorta like the idea of having animals around and making products with the hemp, but I don’t know what we should do. What do you want, Paul?” He flinched a little at the question, he seemed to flinch a lot these days, but then again so did I, at bird song and the sound of doors opening. The wind in the trees even.<br/>
He played with his food as he thought, finally putting his fork down to say “<strong> Cows for shit. </strong>”, and I burst into laughter.<br/>
“Cows for shit? What does that mean?”<br/>
Paul fluttered his hands in the air for a while as he shook his head.<br/>
“<strong> I don’t know the word, but you take the shit and put it in the plants.</strong><br/>
“Ohhhh, yeah manure for fertilization. Plus we could milk the cows and make butter or something.” I was still giggling a little, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. “I’m sure there’s a market for cbd filled milk and cheese.<br/>
“<strong> Weed ice cream?</strong><br/>
“Sounds horrible- Let’s do it! Cows go on the list.”<br/>
Paul got up and went to the paper on the fridge, scribbling “Cows for Shit” on the wishlist.<br/>
“I’ve been meaning to ask you, since I’ve just been assuming, but do you want to go into town with us this weekend? I think you’d like the neighbors a lot, plus they all talk so much themselves, you won’t really need to make conversation with them.”<br/>
Paul shook his head roughly.<br/>
“<strong> Not ready yet. </strong><br/>
“Yeah” I sighed. “I’m not sure I’m ready yet either.”<br/>
“<strong>Stay home.</strong>”<br/>
“Don’t tempt me. I want to explore the town a bit, get to know what resources we have at our disposal. I want to get better”. I said the last part softly, looking at the dirty plate in front of me.<br/>
I hadn't mentioned it to Paul, but I hadn’t had a peaceful night of sleep since arriving at their farm. The unfamiliar surroundings made me feel on edge and I figured if I made them more familiar, I'd calm down a bit, and maybe the dreams would stop.<br/>
Every night, I was visited by someone from my past and every morning I woke up sweaty and panicked.  The dreams were always different in content, sometimes they even started off as normal. The night before, I’d dreamt that I was in Professor Hidgen's lab at Hatchetfield Community College. I was looking for something in there, but the lab was so messy and I couldn't find whatever it was. Sitting at the table in front of me was someone with short, curly brown hair. Somehow I knew it was Jane even though she wasn't looking at me. She just sat there, not doing anything to help me look, so I started yelling at her to help. Jane didn’t react in any way, so I went around the table to get in her face, but when I got to the other side, Jane just smiled at me. I kept asking her for help, but Jane didn’t react. She just kept smiling at me as blue blood started running down her face. </p>
<p>The dream had shook me up, and that was partly what was pushing me to put down roots in this new place. I decided to make friends, meet the neighbors, maybe even join the city council- if people in Witness Protection were allowed to do that. I'd gotten good at starting over, but this time I wanted to do it right.<br/>
****</p>
<p>“Just come to the door and wave at least!”<br/>
It was Sunday morning and I was getting to meet the neighbors for their trip into town, but Paul didn’t want to meet them.<br/>
We’d been going back and forth about it since breakfast. Paul was doing the dishes now and stopped to talk to me.<br/>
“<strong> I’ll get more work done if I just start on the basement right away.</strong>” he signed with soapy hands<br/>
“Not a good enough reason to not do the neighborly thing. Just a quick little wave is all I’m asking. Okay?”<br/>
“Okay.” He gave in and went back to scrubbing the plates. I opened up my mouth to say something, but was interrupted when the phone rang. We both flinched, but I went over to answer it. On the other end, a chipper Angel told me that they were about to head over.<br/>
“Any last minute things to add to the list?”<br/>
“<strong>PO Box?</strong>”<br/>
“Right! We need a mailbox or something to have if we make orders or if we end up selling stuff.”<br/>
Paul was drying his hands as they heard a truck pulling into their driveway. He tried to look tough, but I could see the color drain from his face.<br/>
“Hey listen, we’ll do this together. I got you, Paul.”<br/>
I grabbed his hand and we walked to the front door together. As I reached for the handle, he hesitated a little, but didn't fight as I pulled him into the light of day.<br/>
“<strong> Got everything?</strong>”<br/>
“Yup, got my backpack, got the list. I’ll be back in a few hours, okay? You 1000% have my permission to come into town guns blazing if I’m not back by Noon or if I haven’t called by then, got it?”<br/>
He nodded gravely, then flashed her a rare smile. “<strong> Stay Safe, Kelly. </strong>”<br/>
I grinned up at him too. “Right, to business then. Bye, Ben. See you later!” I gave a salute, then walked off the porch and towards the van where Angel, Kaylee, and Lily were waiting.<br/></p>
<p>“Where’s the party?” I slid into the backseat, totally expecting the entire house to be smushed together int the smaller vehicle<br/>“Olly, Mira, and J are already in town, selling some eggs and things in the market and Pax, Andre, and Skai hate shopping and crowds.” Lily replied. She was sitting next to me with a sudoku puzzle open on her lap.<br/>“Same with Ben, I’m sorry you all haven’t gotten a chance to meet yet, but I’m working him up to it.”<br/>“By the way Kelly, you never mentioned how cute Ben was!” Angel looked back from the passenger seat, shooting a mock-accusatory glare my way, and I laughed along with the rest of the car.<br/>“I actually only recently realized how cute he was. When we first met, he was a customer at a shop I worked at and you know how it is. All customers look the same after a while. But he was friendly and we got to chatting and his personality is what made him stand out.”<br/>“I don’t know.” Angel said, turning to Kay-Lee. “Wouldn’t you have noticed his looks anyways?”<br/>“Yeah, who could ignore those gorgeous green eyes?”<br/><em> Green?</em><br/>I hadn’t ever really stopped to think about the color of Paul’s eyes, but green just sounded wrong, but I shook it off and joined the conversation which had changed to our planned trip.</p>
<p>After a couple hours of being dragged across town, I stepped away from the group to make a call from the payphone outside of the grocery store.<br/>
“Hey Benny-Boy, I know you’re not much for words, but I wanted to let you know that everything's going well in town! I got our mailbox set up, got lots of new seeds for food and planting, and the neighbors took me to this, like, Fixer? I don’t even know, but apparently, there’s a guy in town who everyone goes to to get stuff that isn’t readily available and he’ll be our supplier for building material. Also, there was a guy who’s cow ran off and when she came back she was pregnant! She’s set to give birth in a few weeks, so it looks like we’ll have our shit cow soon!”<br/>
A few people walking passed gave me strange looks, but I ignored them, waiting to see if Paul would give any indication that he’d heard me. None were forthcoming.<br/>
“Hey Ben… how are things going back on the homestead?”<br/>
“Okay…”<br/>
“It doesn’t sound so okay… Do you want me to come home?” Silence on the other end.<br/>
I wasn't sure how to translate it, so I just said, “Okayyy. Should I finish up in town then?”<br/>
“Okay. Okay.”<br/>
“Okay Bud, I think we only have a few more things they wanted to show me, I’ll be back before you know it.”<br/>
As I finished the call, Angel, Kay-Lee, and Lily all walked out of the grocer with canvas bags chocked full of goods. Angel beckoned me over with their chin, sending their earring swinging wildly.<br/>
“Hey, Kelly! Come check out the Green Market!”<br/></p>
<p>At the end of the main street through town was a park. On Sunday mornings, the park was converted into part flea market, part green market where all the citizens of the town and the surrounding areas could come to sell their wares. the neighbors sold eggs and jewelry that they made at a cute little stall in the middle of the now barren market.<br/>“Hey!!!” The group of neighbors with Emma ran up to the stall where their roommates were packing up.<br/>“Hey guys! How was shopping with Kelly?” I was perusing the stalls a row over from the neighbors, pretending not to listen to their conversation. I usually wasn't one to care what others thought about me, but I really liked the neighbors, and I hoped that they liked me back.<br/>“It went well, it was slow going because of her leg, but she’s nice! We stopped by to show her the market and also to take the truck from you. We have some bigger items we need to take back and they won’t fit in the van.”<br/>“Sure, we don’t have much to bring back with us, we had a great day here! Here, take the stall stuff back and we’ll take the groceries?”<br/></p>
<p>As the neighbors started planning out how to organize the ride back up the mountain and packing up their stall, I started walking further away, happy to hear that they liked me to and didn't think me and Paul were a buncha weirdo's.<br/></p>
<p>Across the way, a stall selling furniture caught my eye and I walked over to look at some pieces, hoping I could find some inspiration for our new space. The stalls owner was a younger black guy who was flipping through a magazine, paying me no mind, which was fine by me, until I found a table that thought would be great in the basement and started to try to get the guy’s attention. I was waving at him, but he was pointedly ignoring me. At some point it got ridiculous, so I cleared my throat loudly and said,<br/>“How much for this table?”<br/>The guy sighed and put his magazine down. He stood up from a rocking chair that looked homemade and started to walk over to me.<br/>“Uh, 30 bucks.”<br/>“You sure?” I was happy to have such a cheap price, but I looked at the table again. It was sanded, stained, and given a gloss finish. “I’ll give you 50 for it, this looks like it took a lot of time and you definitely did great work.”<br/>I could feel the guys eyes on me and thought he was going to say "No sale" or something but he just grumbled “Nah, it’s 30. Consider it a veteran’s discount.”<br/>“Oh! Sorry, I never served…”<br/>He looked taken aback.<br/>“Sorry, I just assumed- you… you have the look.”<br/>“The look?” I asked, surprised by how the guy who just minutes ago had looked like a surly senior citizen now looked like a bashful kid.<br/>“Yeah, the look- just… never mind. It’s still 30.”<br/>I couldn’t help but smile, something about the guy's energy made me happy, I'd always kinda liked gruff, semi-rude people and this guy fit the bill. <br/>“How ‘bout this,  I’ll buy the table and…” I looked around his stall for something else to buy and my eyes fell on a series of small carved woodland creatures, “...these cute little guys!” I picked up a little deer and the guy smiled slightly.<br/>“Sure, that brings your total to 35 dollars.”</p>
<p><em>A tough customer, I like it.</em>  I could tell he was hardheaded, so I shook my head a bit and reached out a hand.<br/>“I’m Kelly.”<br/>“Dom.” He took my hand and shook it briskly.<br/>“Well Dom, you have some great products here and for such a reasonable price! I think craftsmanship such as this deserves a nice tip, so on top of the 35 dollars, I’m going to tip you 15 dollars. I won’t take no for an answer.”<br/>He held his hands up in an 'I give' gesture and his smile grew.<br/>“You win, you win. I’ll grab you a bag for the carvings.” He walked behind his stall and Angel and Kay-Lee came running up from a few rows over.<br/>“What the fuuccckkkkkkk!” Kay-Lee stage whispered<br/>“What?” They both had looks of joy and confusion on their faces.<br/>“I’ve never seen Crabby say more than two sentences to anyone… ever!”<br/>“How on earth did you get him to open up.”<br/>“Oh… Well, I guess I should tell y’all the truth" I leaned in and lowered my voice to match theirs. " <em>… I’m pretty crabby myself</em>. " I stood up and began speaking normally as their confused looks grew. "I guess us Crabby people just have a way with each other.”<br/>“No! You’re not crabby!”Angel shook their head emphatically.<br/>“Trust me y’all. I can be a big ole bitch if I wanna be, but Dom is a pretty nice guy.”<br/>“Dom?!?!”<br/>Angel grabbed Kay-Lee's arm and squeezed it.<br/>“We literally never knew his name before! That’s why we called him Crabby.”<br/>Dom walked back out from behind the stall then and saw that I wasn’t alone any more.<br/>“Here.” He started putting the figurines into the bag he’d brought out and put it in my hands.<br/>“Thank you so much, Dom. By the way, these are my neighbors Kay-Lee and Angel. They were just telling me that you live on the other side of the lake from us!”<br/>“Oh, so you’re the one who lives in that house now.” Dom's expression changed to one with an intensity she recognized, but she couldn't put her fingers on it. Something in his eyes was off-putting to her, though.<br/>“Yep! Me and my friend Ben just moved in earlier this week.”<br/>He nodded and then looked at the table she'd bought.<br/>“Do you need help with this?”<br/>“No, Me and Kay-Lee got this, right?” Angel looked down at the table then back at their roommate.<br/>“Yeah, we got this! It was nice finally meeting you, Dom.” Kay-Lee squatted down to grab one end of the table and Angel gripped the other. “Okay, Kelly. We’re gonna go put this in the truck then pull it around to pick you up. We’ll be right back.”<br/>“Thank you so much guys!”<br/>Dom looked at Emma as they walked off with the table.<br/>“So, you and Ben are new to the area, right?”<br/>“Yup!” Emma began walking around his stall again, looking at his products to avoid looking at him.<br/>“I know it can be rough starting over, so if you need help with some things reach out to me. I can set you up with some fishing supplies and some basic woodworking tools if you would like?” His voice sounded sincere.<br/>“Wow! Thank you. That’s really kind.”<br/>“Don’t worry about it. It’s good to have something to occupy your hands and mind out here. Plus, there’s nothing better than a fresh caught fish.”<br/>Emma laughed even though he hadn’t said anything funny.<br/>“Here.” Dom was behind her now, holding a piece of paper out. “You or ‘Ben’ can call me if either of you want to go fishing with me… or just to talk.”<br/>“What about?” Emma was getting more and more on edge as she talked to him.<br/>“Whatever’s on your minds, besides, us crabby people have to stick together right?”<br/>Angel pulled up in the truck just then.<br/>“Thanks for the table and the offer to fish together, but I gotta run.” Emma took the paper and Dom let his hand linger in hers for just a little too long.<br/>“Bye, Kelly.”</p>
<p>An hour later, Angel, Kay-Lee, Lily, and I hopped out of the truck in front of the farmhouse.<br/>
“Thank you all again for helping us get set up.”<br/>
“It’s our pleasure! Besides, we had a lot of fun with you today.” Lily was pulling water collecting bins from the truck bed.<br/>
“Plus, now we know that Crabby is Dom!”<br/>
“I don’t know, he’ll always be Crabby to me.” Kay-Lee said, working with Angel to bring the table to the front yard.<br/>
“I think we got it from here. I know you all have to get back home with our own stuff, so I’ll go drag Ben out from wherever he’s hiding.”<br/>
“You sure?”<br/>
“Absolutely! You all have done more than enough to help me today. I really really appreciate it, and I had a lot of fun with you today too!”<br/>
“Okay. When should we send Skai over to help you set up the water stuff.”<br/>
“We’ll we kinda wanted to figure it out for ourselves, but if these books leave us confused or we contract dysentery from the dirty water, we’ll be sure to call you for help!”<br/>
“Please don’t let it get that far, but sure! Never be afraid to call for any help.”<br/>
I hugged them all goodbye, then stood on the porch, waving them off before heading into the house.<br/>
“I’m home!” I didn't want to sneak up on Paul, so I called out to him as soon as I crossed the threshold. I waited for a response, but there weren’t any tell-tale sounds of Paul puttering around or banging in the kitchen. I began searching the downstairs and  walked into the kitchen to the basement door ajar.<br/>
“Paul? Benjam? PB and J?” I began making more and more ridiculous nicknames as I looked for him.<br/>
The basement was completely emptied of stuff and there were no signs of him in or around the house. Just as I was beginning to panic, I took another look out the window to see him walking out of the woods carrying a large rock, which he dropped in front of a tree in our backyard. A few couches and chairs sat around him.<br/>
“Hey!” I ran out of the house to him. “You had me worried there, bud!<br/>
He turned, surprised, then waved back at me as a smile worked its way across his face.<br/>
As I got closer to him, I could saw a few smaller rocks wreathing the ground around the tree.<br/>
“Whatcha doing out here?”<br/>
“<strong> It’s a memorial.</strong>”<br/>
“A memorial?”<br/>
He pointed at the big rock and signed, "<strong>Hatchetfield</strong>.” He began to work his way around the tree pointing at each rock and giving a name.<br/>
“<strong> Charlotte, Ted, Bill. Professor Hidgens, Tom, Tim, and Jane. </strong>”<br/>
“Oh.” I tried to find the words to express how I felt, but all I could do was pull him into a hug. He stood stiffly as I held him, but I held on ‘til I felt satisfied. “I love this idea. Thank you, Paul.”<br/>
He shrugged a little, but smiled as he kept signing to me.
“<strong>I figured we could plant some flowers around it, maybe use one of the couches from the basement for seating.</strong>”<br/>
We spent the rest of the day setting up the memorial garden and bringing the items I'd brought home inside. We worked hard and didn't really speak that night, but I think we were both satisfied with what we'd done.<br/>
That night, I went to bed content for the first time in a long time and as I slept, I dreamt of walking through a meadow full of flowers and life. At the end of it stood Professor Hidgens, Charlotte, Ted, Bill, Tom, Jane, and Tim all alive and happy having a picnic. Paul was standing to the side watching them and I went to join him, wrapping my arms around his waist.<br/>
He leaned down and kissed my head, then laughed. It was a light, hearty laugh that I couldn't help but smile at.<br/>
“What?” I asked, wanting to know what could bring him such joy.<br/>
“Nothing, nothing. It’s just funny you know?”<br/>
“What is?” I looked up at him and he was grinning widely.<br/>
“You actually think you won.” He started laughing, and the picnicking Hatchetfeldians joined him.<br/>
The sky around me began to darken and blue goo began to shower down on them all as their laughter became more and more raucous and the flowers in the meadow began to turn brown.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Remove or Resolve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emma has a chance encounter with Dom and an interesting conversation with General Shay</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up on edge. A quick glance at my clock told me it was 4 am and I could tell that sleep wasn’t on the table for me. I thought about taking a shower, but the images of the blue goo rain kept flashing in my mind, so I hopped up and threw on some boots and jeans and just began walking.</p>
<p> <em> Not a smart move Emma. Walking through the woods at night all alone, anything could happen to you. </em></p>
<p> I shook my head, hoping to dislodge the voice. Of course it was a bad idea to be walking in the woods, but I needed to be doing something, feel some other kind of fear than the kind that shook me out of my sleep every morning. </p>
<p> My walking led me to the lake. Every house on the lake had a small personal dock that they could use to keep boats and fishing gear by, mine and Paul’s was unused, or at least it was supposed to be. As I walked closer I could see a shadowed figure on the dock, rummaging around with some boxes. It finished whatever it was doing and began to dip back into the water- there must’ve been a boat there to catch whoever it was. </p>
<p> I started to lightly jog my way over, waving at the figure as I yelled, “HEY!”.</p>
<p> The person looked up startled and fell over. Thankfully, I didn’t hear a splash, so they must’ve landed in their boat. I got closer and in the early morning sun, I could see the boxes on the dock were boating gear, on the floor next to them were fishing poles. I slowed down out of confusion and saw a familiar face peering out of the boat.</p>
<p>”Dom?” <em> What the fuck? Did Dom try to ding dong ditch us with fishing gear?</em></p>
<p> He sheepishly sat up and gave me what I was sure would’ve passed as a winning smile on any other day for any other person.</p>
<p>”Uh… hey. Yikes this is weird isn’t it?”</p>
<p>”Yeahhh… What the fuck dude?”</p>
<p> “So, listen. I’m really trying not to be weird about this and I kinda have a whole Boo Radley thing going on for me around here- I like the solitude and all, but when I met you the other day I felt a connection and I wanted to do something-”</p>
<p>”Whoa, whoa, whoa dude! I don’t know what you think happened but there isn’t anything between us, okay? We don’t have a ‘connection’”</p>
<p>”No! Not like that!” Dom buried his head in his hands and moaned a little. “This is what happens when you don’t speak to people for a few years. God! Look- I can tell you’ve got some sort of fucked up past and trauma and shit. You said you haven’t seen any war, but you’ve seen something, right?” He searched my face and I looked away from him, not wanting him to see the truth in his words.</p>
<p>“I was a soldier, fresh outta high school. I was gonna join the army and just be a secretary or whatever so I could go to college, but they sent me to Afghanistan and they needed men in the field. After my time was up, I moved around a lot and tried my best to move on, but I couldn’t find peace. I finally moved here for the quiet and I found that fishing really helps me center myself. It’s not much- it’s definitely not therapy, but it’s something. I figured maybe you or your friend could get into fishing- He seems like a restless dude.”</p>
<p>”What?”</p>
<p>”Yeah, that dude like never sleeps. I do a lot of night-fishing and every time I’ve seen him walking around your land or just through the woods or something.”</p>
<p>“Huh.” I hadn’t realize that Paul had such issues sleeping. I eyed Dom, still unsure how I felt about the intrusion, but I could tell he was trying to do a good thing. “Thanks, Dom. Maybe next time, instead of sneaking onto our dock, you can just come visit? It’s okay to make human connections, you know that right?”</p>
<p> He shook his head, very serious again. “No, I’ve learned that it’s better this way.”</p>
<p> It was my turn to shake my head. “I used to think that too, then I lost everyone who I ever used to be close to. Now I just have my friend, Ben. I’m trying to do better, to be more open- this shit is hard and it leaves you open to pain, but there’s also a lot of happiness that can come with it.”</p>
<p> “I’ll take your word for it.” Dom was putting on a gruff exterior, trying to shield himself from the world, I could see the light and life that was in his eyes just seconds ago being snuffed out as he spoke and I couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and trying to stoke that life back.</p>
<p> As Dom began to right himself and made for the oars for his boat, I looked at the supplies he’d left them. “So, you gonna teach me how to use these, or...?”</p>
<p> He grumbled and paused. “Do you really need help with this?”. I nodded very seriously. “Fine. I’ll just stay and teach you the basics.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Dom!”</p>
<p> He taught me how to bait a hook and how to cast and reel it back in. I pestered him with questions and got him to stay to catch a few fish, we talked for a few hours as the sun finished its ascent. As we talked, quietly so they wouldn’t scare the fish, I learned that Dom was a very quick-witted and sensitive person, who hid these facets of his personality with a ‘strong and silent’ exterior, but once I got him talking, he was a riot and very insightful. I could feel myself becoming more comfortable with him.</p>
<p>We’d been fishing for a while and now I had to shield my eyes to keep the sun from blinding me. I pretended to be preoccupied with my fishing rod and fiddled with it as I gathered the nerve to ask Dom something that had been bothering me. </p>
<p>“Hey, Dom…”</p>
<p>“What’s up?” He was staring into the water, hoping to catch a glimpse of a fish just below the surface.</p>
<p>I twisted the rod between my fingers before casting it out into the water, sending small ripples across the nearly still lake. “Do you ever feel like there’s something you’re missing?”</p>
<p> “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>”I feel like there’s a big, obvious sign I’m missing. Some sort of warning or danger that is right under my nose, keeping me from getting too comfortable or feeling safe. But anytime I look around, there’s nothing- yet I keep having these goddamn dreams and ominous feelings.”</p>
<p> Dom sighed and I could see his eyes squint as he thought about what he wanted to say.</p>
<p> “Sometimes, when we’re used to being in danger and suddenly find ourselves in a safe environment, our mind doesn’t know how to cope with the sudden safety. We’re used to evaluating everything and determining how exactly it can hurt us. But now, as far as we know, there’s nothing out to get us- no scary monsters, no enemies. Nothing. It can be a weird thing to get used to. This can manifest in our mind creating terrors at night to kind of get release. Like, ‘Oh, no dangers in the day? I’ll make some dangers in here to prove that there’s dangers.’”</p>
<p> I sighed in relief. So, my mind was just fucking with me huh?</p>
<p> “At the same time-”</p>
<p>
  <em> Damn.</em>
</p>
<p>”At the same time… Sometimes, our conscious mind doesn’t want to, or can’t, recognize the dangers that are apparent in our daily lives and our subconscious picks up on those signals and feeds them to us through dreams. It’s not always clear which is the case. Is the mind playing tricks on us, or is it trying it’s best to warn us? Either way- I think it’s trying to help. All you can do is listen to your brain when it says that there’s a danger and try to remove it or resolve it.”</p>
<p> We didn’t talk much for the rest of the time we fished. I got two catches and Dom got five. He gave me three of them, saying I needed them more than he did and he rowed his way home. I walked back through the woods holding a bunch of dripping fish in my arms. As I got closer, I could see Paul’s brown hair through the window that looked into the kitchen. He was sitting at the kitchen table and turned to greet me as I entered. When his eyes met mine a shiver ran through me. They were such a bright, unnatural green and for some reason they just seemed so wrong. My mind was screaming <em>DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!</em> at me, but there was no danger there, just Paul who got up, a look of relief on his face.</p>
<p>
  <strong>”Where were you! I got so scared.”</strong>
</p>
<p>”Sorry, sorry. I went for a walk this morning and ran into one of our neighbors. The guy I told you about from the green market yesterday, Dom. He lent us some fishing gear and showed me how to use them, I caught,” I looked down at the armful of fish. “Breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a week?”</p>
<p>
  <strong>”I’m glad you’re okay.</strong>
</p>
<p>I laughed, trying to shake off the feeling. “Sorry to have worried you. Hey, how bout this, you go get cleaned off and calm down while I figure out how to gut this fish. We can do some fresh caught fish and grits for breakfast- on me.”</p>
<p>Paul nodded and walked off and I gripped the counter in front of me.</p>
<p>
  <em>Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck</em>
</p>
<p> I’d felt pretty much fine once I’d started walking in the woods and the entire time I talked to Dom, but the second I walked into the house and saw Paul, I’d freaked out.</p>
<p><em> It’s the eyes, Em.</em> I thought, and the thought shocked me. The eyes, the eyes. What about the eyes?</p>
<p>
  <em>The eyes are wrong</em>
</p>
<p> They’re off. They’re Paul’s eyes, but not. Something had changed about his eyes between the last time I saw him in Hatchetfield and when we’d reconnected and they’d put me on edge since. I was beginning to realize how much time I’d spent avoiding his eyes since we’d moved out here. I had half an excuse since he mostly used sign language now, but still, even at meals, I’d sooner look at my plate than his eyes.</p>
<p>I began to shake. What could’ve happened between the last time I saw him and when we met in Clivesdale to change his eyes?</p>
<p>
  <em> He was changed<em>. My inner voice was shouting, rejoicing at my finally realizing.</em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I’m sorry Emma. You’re the only survivor."<em> That’s what General Shay had said when I first woke up. I suddenly flashed to Dom, this morning when he said that we either had to remove or resolve our dangers.</em></em></p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Remove or Resolve</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p> The stairs began to creak and I sprung into action, crossing the kitchen in one step and swinging the door open. I threw my crutch down the stairs and stepped back. Paul came rushing over.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>”What happened?!</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>"I’m so clumsy, I swear! I was gonna go down to grab something and wanted to use my crutched to be a bit more secure on the stairs, but my crutch slipped. Let me go get it.”
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Paul held out his arm, stopping me. <strong>"I got it, and whatever you wanted to grab.”</strong></p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p> “Oh, thank you! I moved some of my books down there this morning and I think a cookbook was with them, I put them all the way on the back corner, over there.” As I spoke, I pointed with one hand and grabbed the cast iron skillet that was on the table with my other. Paul began to walk forward, stepping into the dark doorway to the basement, peering around. I stepped behind him and gripped the skillet with both hands. He took a step down and I swung, hard.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
   The pan met Paul’s skull with a sickening <em>CRACK!</em> and he crumpled onto the top step.
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p><em> Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. What if he wasn’t an alien?!</em> I rushed over to him and turned him over. His eyes were closed and still, but his chest was rising slightly. I was hyperventilating a bit as I thought about my next steps. I felt the back of his head and felt a large bump rising and my hands came away wet. I pulled my hands out from under him and saw blue staining my fingers and jeans. 
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”Shit. Shit. Shit!”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I stood up and gingerly stepped over Paul’s still limp body, positioning myself underneath him on the stairwell. Step by step, I dragged his lifeless body down into the depths of the house.”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p><em>Why am i being so gentle to this alien-fuck!?</em> Even as I thought this, I slowly lowered his body to the concrete ground of the basement. I dragged one of the remaining chairs over to him and laid it on its side, scooting the seat of the chair to his butt, then righting the two together. There was a rope tying a thing of tarp up and I used it to tie Paul to the chair as best I could. His head was bowed and his body bent nearly in half, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch him to sit him up straight. I backed as far away from him as possible and watched him with a hand over my mouth. He still wasn’t moving. I wasn’t sure how long was normal for a person to be passed out- let alone an alien. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p> Finally, I rushed up the stairs and locked the basement door behind me, making my way to the living room, where our one line to the outside world was. One number had been drilled into my head before I left Clivesdale, General Shay said it was PEIP’s number and to call if there was anything- anything- that was concerning her. I sat at an angle as I pressed the keys, trying to keep an eye on as many parts of the house as possible. I felt like something was going to come jumping out of the shadows at me, like it would drag me into the shadows with it.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>The phone rang, once, twice, three times. It kept ringing for a long while until the line went quiet and I heard a click. I’d been hung up on. I begun to type in the numbers again when the phone rang. I answered to hear a clipped, nasally male voice.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”How did you get this number?!”
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“Uh, General Shay gave it to me… She said to call if I needed anything- please, can I talk to her? It’s an emergency.”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“Who is this?”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“It’s Emma, Emma Perkins.”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>“We don’t know an Emma Perkins.”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>Groaning, I begged “Please, this is really bad! This is Kelly Richardson.”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”We’ll patch you right through to General Shay, Kelly.”There was a click and a quick ring, and General Shay picked up. </p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”Hi, Kelly. What can I help you with?</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p> General! Please, you have to help me. It’s Paul, he got taken by the aliens. I think he’s been possessed this whole time. I don’t know what to do!” I began to sob into the phone, the reality of the situation just sinking in. For nearly two weeks, I’d been living with a monster. The entire time I’d been trying to heal and move on, he’d likely been plotting behind my back for how to re-invade the earth and take over everyone.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”Kelly! Kelly, I need you to calm down. Take a deep breath for me. It’s going to be okay.”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”What?" Emma hiccupped and struggled to draw a steady breath.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”Kelly, we are already aware of the situation and are keeping an eye on it.”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p> My breath stopped and silent tears kept falling down my face. “W-wha-what are you saying?”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”We found Ben as we were sweeping the remains of Hatchetfield. He was passed out almost a mile away from the Starlight Theater, covered in blue blood. We took him in and healed him and through our tests, we realized that he was… not human. At first, we treated him as a hostile, but he proved to us that he was anything but. It became clear to us that Ben just wanted  to start over, and that he felt a connection to you. We decided to treat him as we would any other person who’d gone through an ordeal, and put him in witness protection with you- Has the situation changed Kelly? Has Ben become a hostile entity?”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p> My mind swirled as I tried to piece together what the General had just said.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”You… You knew? You sent me out here with a monster and you knew?!”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”Not so, Kelly. We sent you out there with a traumatized and broken citizen. With someone who had saved the entire world. Someone who posed you, and all of us, no danger. Again, Kelly, has the situation changed?”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>I paused and thought about the question. Had the situation changed? Everything had changed… and yet nothing had. Paul had done nothing over the past few weeks to try to hurt me, or anyone… He’d been avoiding everyone and everything. I thought to the memorial he had made the other day. Would a monster do that? <em> Yes, to trick you</em> But why did he want to or feel the need to trick me? Was it a trick?</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”Kelly?”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”I- I don’t know… He hasn’t done anything, yet. But how can we know that he won’t?”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>”How do we know that anyone won’t cause another harm? No one can know the future, Kelly. All we know is that Ben, or Paul as you knew him, is changed, but is he all that different?”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>General Shay assured me that there were units nearby prepared to respond if “Ben” ever became an issue, but that all they could do was watch and wait to see what he would do until then.The phone call ended and I was left to sit in the living room, feeling the empty quietness moving in on me, it was suffocating. I moved back into the kitchen and began prepping the fish, desperate for something to do to make me feel normal. I was working on the second fish when I heard noises downstairs, the sound of a chair dragging across the floor and grunting.</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p> I cleaned off and grabbed the shotgun that we kept in the corner near the backdoor. Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the basement door and began to go down the stairs. The light from the kitchen illuminated the way, and as I got closer to the bottom of the stairs, I could see Paul shifting. He looked up at me, a pained, confused look in his eyes as he said “Emma?”</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Super- Green</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Paul is awake and Emma interrogates him for answers</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His green eyes caught the light and seemed to almost glow as I leveled the gun at him.</p>
<p>“Emma, Please...” He began to hyperventilate a bit and I could see his hands waving in the air. I felt kinda bad about it, since it’s a bit hard to sign when you can’t move your hands freely.</p>
<p><em> No, this is not some poor schmuck to feel empathy for. This is the monster who took Paul’s body. Right?</em> I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say, what to ask, but the entire situation was giving me a lot of anxiety. <em> Start simple, Emma</em></p>
<p>”Who are you!? <em>What</em> are you!?” I winced at the cliched question, but let it stand.</p>
<p> He (It?) shook his head and kept struggling, ignoring me. He was mumbling “okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.” under his breath as he did it. The ropes were tied tightly, more akin to knots than a bow, I wouldn’t have been able to undo them if I wanted to, so I was sure he’d have no way to get out. He seemed to realize that, and he looked back up at me, still with that panicked face. “Please, please. Emma.”</p>
<p>”No! Tell me what you are! Speak to me, not the ground!” I did my best to look menacing over the gun, with all of my five feet of height, but I was more scared than anything and was sure I looked it. </p>
<p> “Please don’t make me talk.” He was in tears now, his face red with effort. The tears fell clear, thankfully. “Please, please. I need my hands.”</p>
<p> I hesitated, then ran upstairs to grab the scissors from the kitchen. <em> He’s playing you. He’s trying to trick you.</em> Every part of my body was telling me not to cut him loose, but his face was still Paul’s and seeing his big eyes filled with tears still made my heart hurt. I grabbed more rope and when I got back to him, I tied his body more securely to the chair. I cut his hands loose, then pointed the shotgun back at him.</p>
<p>”If you make one wrong move, I won’t hesitate.”</p>
<p> He nodded, rubbing his wrists as he looked up at me. <em>God, those fucking eyes.</em> I cocked the gun and asked him again,</p>
<p>”Who and what are you?”</p>
<p> His breath was still coming out ragged and heavy, and he shook his head. It looked like there was something going on in his mind, like he was fighting something back.</p>
<p>”<em>please, please, please.</em>” </p>
<p>”Paul! I undid your hands so you could talk to me, I need you to answer my questions.”</p>
<p>”Not Paul. Not Paul. I’m Ben-I’m Ben.”
</p><p>“What happened to Paul, Ben?” His body shook, and he was fully crying now. He curled into himself as he sobbed into his hands.</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>”We killed him.”</strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>I took a step back. The voice that had just come out of Paul’s body sent a cold sweat running down my back and I felt myself drop the gun. He spoke with many voices. Young, Old, Masculine, Feminine- Familiar and Alien all at once.</p>
<p> “What the fuck...”</p>
<p>”<em><strong>We killed Paul and took him over, but</strong></em>- but, he fought back. I kept fighting them, telling myself that I had to save you. That nothing else mattered.”</p>
<p> He looked up at me, confused. “I was supposed to die. Emma, why didn’t I die?<em><strong> He blew up the hivemind with grenades. There was so much fire, but it was too late. The Hive had already taken hold, we’d implanted our seed into him. We ran away as the theater exploded. He was the only one left. </strong></em> But I fought- to keep control, to save you.” </p>
<p> He was still shaking and crying, seamlessly switching between Paul’s voice and the Hive’s as he wove his tale. I’d begun backing up at some point, I didn’t realize until my back hit the wall of the basement. </p>
<p> <em>”Paul.”</em> My voice came out in a whisper as I started crying too. <em>What the fuck is happening?</em> Paul was gone, destroyed by the Hive or subsumed by it, yet some part of him was still fighting back somehow, trying to assert dominance over an unimaginable power. 
</p><p>”Why are you here? What do you want?!”</p>
<p> He flinched and shook his head again, but his sobbing had died down again. “<em><strong>I don’t know.</strong></em> We don’t know. I remember-” He swallowed hard and shook his head, trying to clear it- focus. </p>
<p>”The Hive lives on through me. I can remember what it was like traversing the galaxy, raveging new planets. <em><strong> Crushing the weak beneath us, expanding more and more.</strong></em> Before, all we felt was peace and joy at serving the hive, but now-Now we feel it all.” he gave a sad grimace. “Sadness, hurt, pain, fear, loss, death, emptiness. <em><strong>We see us, as you…</strong></em> I... I see all that devastation, but now I feel what it is like for those outside of the Hive. Paul wanted you and to be happy and alive, <em><strong>but not with us.</strong></em>” He sounded almost bitter as he said that part.</p>
<p>”The stars call to me, but we don’t want to go back. We can’t.”</p>
<p>”You… You want to start over?”</p>
<p>He nodded vigorously. “I don’t want to hurt people any more.”</p>
<p> “Is that why you won’t speak? And why you don’t go out?”
</p><p>He nodded. “I’m so scared, every single time I open my mouth or see another person, I am so afraid. Afraid that I’ll sing or do something to make them join me. I just want peace and quiet.”</p>
<p> I was sitting on the floor now, still with my back to the wall, the shotgun was resting on my lap, but not pointing at him. My fingers started making little swirls in my jeans, avoiding the places his blood had stained earlier. I wasn’t sure what to do or how to move forward. As far as I knew, this <em>thing</em> wasn’t a danger, but how the fuck was I supposed to go about my life knowing that he wasn’t Paul? Was I supposed to keep living with him? <em>Could I leave him?</em></p>
<p> “You haven’t done anything in the last week or so to cause me or anyone any harm, and you’ve shown some obvious remorse and regret, So I’m going to untie you, but I still need you to stay there, okay? He nodded, and put his arms onto the chairs. I cut the ropes that were left, then backed up again.</p>
<p> He relaxed, but was still shaking a bit and tapping his side. He took several deep breaths as he sat there, I could see a lot was still going on in his head.</p>
<p>” So, where do we go from here?”</p>
<p> Paul looked around and shrugged. He stopped his tapping to sign again, apparently done speaking.</p>
<p>”<strong> If you want to keep me down here, I’m okay with that. If you want to kill me, I understand that too. It’s up to you.”</strong></p>
<p> I shook my head.</p>
<p>”I’m not gonna kill you, Paul- Ben.” I corrected myself before sighing. This is gonna be a hard change. “I’m not gonna kill you and I’m not about to keep you prisoner in here. If PEIP trusts you to be out and about, I guess I gotta trust you too. We have more things to talk about and a lot to learn, but I think we can work together to make this arrangement work. Whaddya say?”</p>
<p> He nodded slowly, still eyeing me and the shotgun in my hand. I put it down and walked over to him, putting my hand out for him to grab. He did so and I pulled him up from his seat.</p>
<p>”<strong> Talk more over breakfast?</strong></p>
<p>I agreed and he began walking up the stairs to the kitchen. I hesitated, staying down the stairs a bit longer in order to pull myself together. I began to hyperventilate as I stood there, one foot on the stairs. <em>Isn’t this what you wanted, Emma? A new start, a new life?</em> I was being afforded my second “new start” with this life-as Kelly. A new start somewhere where no one knew my past fuck ups and mistakes. Where I could be whoever or whatever I wanted to be. If I could be Kelly, could the hive be Ben? Did he deserve to be? What did Paul deserve? What would he have wanted?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This work is based off of a small post I made on tumblr (I'm @i-am-corbin-dallas), this is not stolen, but expanded</p></blockquote></div></div>
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